Barf-A-Geddon

Remember way back when…in the Eighties and Nineties… when Hollywood blockbusters weren’t necessarily ALL super-hero related? Sure, they had their action hero types doing completely unrealistic feats to save the world, but the films were entertaining, right? I mean pre-Netflix you actually had to go to a movie theatre to watch brand new films. (New releases at Blockbuster usually took awhile to appear there.) Film soundtracks seemed to become part of the whole marketing package somewhere along the way, too. This brings me to the 1998 movie called “Armageddon.”

It is one of those save the known-world in a couple of hours type of films. I remember walking out of the theatre feeling pumped after viewing it with a good friend of mine. (At the time, I was working at my first full-time radio job as an overnight guy in a small town. More on that later.) However, I also remember having to listen to the schlocky power ballad by Aerosmith called “I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing.”

When I started this blog, I wanted to keep it positive and keep the libel and slander to a minimum, but we all have our breaking points. I, for one, have always DESPISED this song. I think it was like Top 40 radio’s Flavor of the Month when Armageddon was showing. That was Strike One for me. I have never had a desire to keep up with what’s popular — in fact, it’s usually the opposite. Strike Two was the traumatic scene featuring Ben Affleck and Liv Tyler enjoying their animal cracker lovefest while her father (Steven Tyler) belted out the vocal cheese in the background. Can you say, “Ewwww”? I think I should sue for damages because I STILL feel permanently scarred. The question is should you gouge out your eyes while your eardrums bleed simultaneously?

Strike Three was when country recording artist Mark Chesnutt not only recorded another version of the song, but even titled his entire album after it. I think I actually changed jobs around this time and this song followed me from one country station to another.

If this song wasn’t everywhere before the country version, it sure was at that point. So what is my problem with the song? I think it’s the strings for one thing. I mean “Elanor Rigby” is one thing, but this is another. The whole thing is just a bit much for me.

I suppose ALL THREE: the songwriter (not going to name her), Aerosmith, and Chesnutt (that’s two T’s at the end and one S.) are still laughing their way to the bank. This song has been recorded over 90 times.

As for the film Armageddon, I actually enjoyed it. The plot is some oil rig roughnecks are sent into space to blow up a huge meteor that’s headed for Earth. They probably took their barf bags for one reason. I took them for another.

Till next time, keep your Mojo on the Horizon!