Tag: Blockbusters

Barf-A-Geddon

Remember way back when…in the Eighties and Nineties… when Hollywood blockbusters weren’t necessarily ALL super-hero related? Sure, they had their action hero types doing completely unrealistic feats to save the world, but the films were entertaining, right? I mean pre-Netflix you actually had to go to a movie theatre to watch brand new films. (New releases at Blockbuster usually took awhile to appear there.) Film soundtracks seemed to become part of the whole marketing package somewhere along the way, too. This brings me to the 1998 movie called “Armageddon.”

It is one of those save the known-world in a couple of hours type of films. I remember walking out of the theatre feeling pumped after viewing it with a good friend of mine. (At the time, I was working at my first full-time radio job as an overnight guy in a small town. More on that later.) However, I also remember having to listen to the schlocky power ballad by Aerosmith called “I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing.”

When I started this blog, I wanted to keep it positive and keep the libel and slander to a minimum, but we all have our breaking points. I, for one, have always DESPISED this song. I think it was like Top 40 radio’s Flavor of the Month when Armageddon was showing. That was Strike One for me. I have never had a desire to keep up with what’s popular — in fact, it’s usually the opposite. Strike Two was the traumatic scene featuring Ben Affleck and Liv Tyler enjoying their animal cracker lovefest while her father (Steven Tyler) belted out the vocal cheese in the background. Can you say, “Ewwww”? I think I should sue for damages because I STILL feel permanently scarred. The question is should you gouge out your eyes while your eardrums bleed simultaneously?

Strike Three was when country recording artist Mark Chesnutt not only recorded another version of the song, but even titled his entire album after it. I think I actually changed jobs around this time and this song followed me from one country station to another.

If this song wasn’t everywhere before the country version, it sure was at that point. So what is my problem with the song? I think it’s the strings for one thing. I mean “Elanor Rigby” is one thing, but this is another. The whole thing is just a bit much for me.

I suppose ALL THREE: the songwriter (not going to name her), Aerosmith, and Chesnutt (that’s two T’s at the end and one S.) are still laughing their way to the bank. This song has been recorded over 90 times.

As for the film Armageddon, I actually enjoyed it. The plot is some oil rig roughnecks are sent into space to blow up a huge meteor that’s headed for Earth. They probably took their barf bags for one reason. I took them for another.

Till next time, keep your Mojo on the Horizon!

Mental Block from Blockbusters

When you think of the term “blockbuster”, does a certain film pop to mind? They seem to come and go. For better or worse, the massive amount of hype attached to these films can’t be avoided. For moviegoers like me, it can build up some serious expectations. Have you ever experienced something in a film that just keeps you from liking it? I most definitely have.

The first example which pops to my mind is the 1993 blockbuster “Jurassic Park”. As expected, there was an enormous amount of hype attached to the film, but I couldn’t get past one thing: the old dude who ran the park. White hair + white beard + black walking cane = Colonel Sanders. It’s ridiculous, but it’s true. I absolutely couldn’t get past it. In the film, his cane had some kind of prehistoric mosquito larvae in it or something. The real question, of course….Was it finger lickin’ good??

I don’t remember KFC doing any promotion of Jurassic Park, but that was one enormous missed opportunity. “I’d like the velociraptor, extra crispy with a side of pterodactyl hot wings.”

I DO remember Taco Bell heavily promoting another late 80’s/early 90’s blockbuster: Batman. Talk about hype. You spent months drinking your drive through Cokes out of a Bat logo souvenir cup. A lot of young adults at that time had grown up watching reruns of the iconic Adam West TV show as kids. ( I mean they had the Superman films with Christopher Reeve, but it really wasn’t the same thing. This was a whole other level.) Most people loved this film. I did not.

SPOILER ALERT, SPOILER ALERT, SPOILER ALERT. For me, the trailer is completely misleading about the Batwing. All I can say is, if you got the beverage cup with the Batwing, that was the most you’d ever see of it. It’s in the film for a very brief time and then is destroyed. I’ve got a problem with that. I mean, the wing part is kind of a critical piece of the whole, you know, “bat” motif.

Recently, I re-watched the re-make of “True Grit”. I’d call it a blockbuster. It was directed by the Cohen Brothers and starred Jeff Bridges. This had recipe for AWESOME written all over it. My problem with this film is the voice adopted by Jeff Bridges as he portrayed Rooster J. Cogburn. He went for a sound that can only be described as “extreme gravel”.

I just kept thinking “Yosemite Sam” the whole time. I even thought about turning on the subtitles so I could understand what he was saying. PLUS, there’s even a prominent scene where Rooster J. Cogburn fires two pistols! And, yes, I know most people never even thought of it.

I’m sure most people love these films, but my quirks kept me from giving them two thumbs up.

Till next time, keep your Mojo on the Horizon!