Edgysmith vs. Flocks of Chicken Little

I decided to pop in to a Wal Mart on my way to work this morning. (I wanted to buy some of those unhealthy-but-tasty orange crackers with the peanut butter inside of them.) Before I got to the front door, I saw a homeless woman hauling her shopping cart full of junk across the adjacent sidewalk. What made it even more memorable was the fact that she had a little dog riding on top of her belongings. It made me think of an Aerosmith lyric from the early 90s: “There’s something wrong with the world today I don’t know what it is.” “Livin’ on the Edge” was written by Aerosmith band members Steven Tyler and Joe Perry, along with songwriter Mark Hudson.

It’s hard to believe the song was released after the L.A. riots and, apparently, partly inspired by them. If you thought the world (or the U.S.) was a mess THEN, what do you think of it NOW? Nowadays, I don’t think riots are an ongoing issue. However, we do have nonstop battles over data center construction, Canadian tariffs, whether or not Artificial Intelligence will completely eliminate human beings from the planet some time soon…oh and flock cameras!

Do I sound like the Chicken Little character referenced in the song? Maybe the sky isn’t falling, but it certainly does feel like “There’s something wrong with the world today“. I mean, what is the proper response to seeing a homeless woman with her dog riding shotgun in the shopping cart? Do you run into Wal Mart and buy the dog some food? Do you consult with a clerk about which food is appropriate for both owner and pooch? Honestly, I don’t know what to think. (I will say that during the 90s, PETA would have probably beaten the woman with a pool noodle.)

In conclusion, I’m going to start my own flock camera company…I haven’t decided on the name yet, but I’m pretty sure Chicken Little should be involved.

Till next time, keep your Mojo on the Horizon!

Tipton Two-fer

Have you ever heard of Tipton, Missouri? It’s a small town of roughly 3,000 residents. When I think about Tipton, two specific names pop to mind. One is comedic actor David Koechner. He’s probably best known for playing chauvinistic sportscaster Champ Kind in “Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy”, but also hilariously played the annoying neighbor in Mike Judge’s underrated film “Extract”, which I highly recommend.

The second name I think of is Gene Clark. Clark was a musician and songwriter who is best known for being a member of The Byrds. He wrote and sang lead on their song “I’ll Feel a Whole Lot Better.” It was apparently the B-side of a Byrds’ Bob Dylan cover, but got its share of airplay. It was released in 1965.

A guitarist friend of mine is the person who really made me appreciate this song. At two-and-a-half minutes, it’s a short song, but it’s a good one in my opinion. The guitar solo on it is pretty distinct…sounds sort of like a mandolin to my ears or maybe just has that 12-string guitar “jangle” that was a big part of The Byrds’ sound. Clark also re-released the song on one of his solo albums.

As for The Byrds’ influence, Tom Petty was definitely a fan. Petty covered this one on his massive “Full Moon Fever” album in 1990.

I think his Traveling Wilburys pal Jeff Lynne sings some of the backing vocals on this one.

What else can you say about Tipton, MO? Apparently, it’s the home of the “World’s Largest 8-Ball.” It’s their unique water tower…apparently, they had a billiard table factory there and that was a tribute to it. When I Googled “Tipton, MO manufacturing” the name Koechner Manufacturing appeared as a result. I’m assuming that could be a relative of David Koechner.

Till next time, keep your Mojo on the Horizon!

Heart Hand Corpse

I’ve never been one to go along with what’s popular and I doubt I ever will be. For me, it’s a matter of knowing what I like despite what the masses are doing. (By the way, one of my high school history teachers indicated the term “the masses” was a play on “them asses” — meaning, the general public is generally comprised of idiots. Case in point: the song “Macarena” and accompanying dance, but I digress.)

This particular blog entry will sound grumpy, grim, and probably petty, but I have a BIG PROBLEM with something I keep seeing over and over again. What is it? It’s commonly known as “Heart Hands” and I have had enough of it. Every time I turn around I see someone Heart Handing something in a pic or a video for some odd reason. It could be an athlete who scored a goal, it could be a coworker, it could be your pizza delivery guy. I haven’t seen them in mug shots, but maybe a couple of sympathetic deputies could look into holding the arrestee’s placard with his case number. I’m sure Al Capone would have probably turned out differently if this had happened.

I haven’t searched for animals being trained to Heart Hand, but I really hope as a society we haven’t “gone there” and I hope we never do. However, something tells me there’s probably a zoologist training baboons to Heart Hand when they get their daily dose of bananas or whatever they eat. Let’s hope they don’t put the bananas into a heart shape either. In honor of how much I despise Heart Handing, I’m sharing “Heart Shaped Box” by Nirvana.

I only remembered a few verse lyrics from this song, but there’s one about “eating cancer.” I always loved the chorus on this one. By the way, I was going to share a lyric video of this song, but the first one I found misspelled the term “pisces” as “pices.” Uggghh.

Getting back to my complete disdain for Heart Handing, it makes me wonder if the peace sign was looked at the same way. I’m okay with the peace sign, but it’s been around for quite a while. You know, that leads me to think about the economic power of the Heart Hand. Think about how much crap with a peace sign on it has been sold over the years…shirts, coffee mugs, etc. If someone started manufacturing Buddhas with Heart Hands, they could probably sell a trillion of them. (By the way, the term mudra is what they call all of those different hand gestures. Heart Hands does not count. There’s even a system of them called kuji-in used by ninjas. To my knowledge, most assassins don’t try to summon the power of Heart Hands before silently taking a life.)

I’d love to say more, but I’ve been inspired to start writing about a serial killer who poses his victims with Heart Hands. Maybe he cuts them off, maybe he just takes selfies with them.

Till next time, keep your Mojo on the Horizon!

The Sports Anti-Hero?

If you’re not a rabid sports fan, this might be a tough time of year for you. Here’s what’s happening: NBA finals, the World Cup, and even hockey’s Stanley Cup finals. Take your pick. I guess it’s also baseball season, too. I’m not emotionally invested in any of them, but have seen highlights on the news and seen a few clips while channel surfing.

One hockey-focused mini-series I watched recently is called “Keep Your Head Up, Kid: The Don Cherry Story” (2010). If you’re unfamiliar with the name Don Cherry, he was a longtime TV broadcaster on “Coach’s Corner” which broadcast during “Hockey Night in Canada” and was known for his opinionated rants. Apparently, Cherry was never one to shy away from confrontations.

As little as I really know about Cherry, I really enjoyed this program and found it to be entertaining — some might argue like the man himself. You get to experience the made for TV version of his life including: playing for years in the American Hockey League, his coaching stints including a few seasons with the Boston Bruins (his teams made the Stanley Cup finals, but could never get past the Montreal Canadiens), his well-publicized battles with his general managers, leaving home as a teenager, and more. I suppose his battles are what shaped him. Somewhere along the way he developed his own unique fashion sense, too.

I’m surprised Cherry never gravitated toward professional wrestling because I feel like his tone of voice and ability to disagree are suited for it. Tim Cherry, Don’s son, wrote the story for the film and the adult version of Don Cherry was played by Jared Keeso.

Part of the appeal of the program is not only the great stories from Cherry’s life, but the hockey history. I’m a very casual fan of hockey, but the amount of teams and leagues outside of the NHL is pretty mind-boggling. As a player and coach, Cherry moved around 50 times.

If I’m not mistaken, I heard on the news recently it is the Las Vegas Golden Knights’ ninth season and third appearance in the Stanley Cup finals. When did that happen? I’d call that the opposite of old-time hockey.

Till next time, keep your Mojo on the Horizon!

The Fixx & Steven Tyler’s Mouth

It’s that time again…my 6-month checkup at the dentist. You know… that day when you slide into the dentist’s chair and they start putting different foreign objects into your mouth. And they’re not just any old foreign objects. A suction hose, a rinsing device, and the cleaning “tool” which resembles a Klingon weapon used by Worf on Start Trek: The Next Generation. Not to mention the rope…I mean floss. My mind wanders during the cleaning procedure so I can think about anything BUT what’s happening. In any event, I escaped with zero cavities!! That means my new dental visit theme song is “Saved by Zero” by The Fixx.

I remember this song and its accompanying video from the early days of MTV. It featured The Fixx’s lead singer walking around singing with his, you know, 80s Duran-Duran-ish hair. I vaguely remembered the chorus of the song, but had no idea what it was really about. According to Wikipedia, it was inspired by a Buddhist concept called Śūnyatā. I’m going to leave the research to someone else on that one.

I had another thought while a full-grown adult had her hand spelunking in my mouth. What’s the average size of a human mouth? A quick Google search revealed it’s around 2 inches or roughly 50 millimeters. Then, I had to think about the bite radius of Aerosmith’s Steven Tyler.

Steven Tyler seems like he’s a pretty good sport so I feel like I should share an Aerosmith song. “Kings and Queens” seems like one I haven’t heard in a while.

Did Henry VIII have a Royal Dentist? It seems like that would be a less than ideal career choice. In any event, please look for your Dental Spelunking Action Pack at retailers near you. It should include a life size replica of Steven Tyler’s mouth, a Buddha, a 45 RPM record of The Fixx, and Worf with not only his usual weapon, but some rope ( I mean floss), a hose, and a custom helmet for whatever is going on with the middle of his head.

Till next time, keep your Mojo on the Horizon!

Doomsday Dream & The Del-Vikings

Dreams are on my mind today. Why? Well I had a bizarre one last night. I think there were a couple of factors that went into its formulation. First, I went to a work event which was a couple of hours away. On the way back I got into a lengthy conversation with a new coworker. It turns out we have some mutual acquaintances from college, etc. One of them was a guy whom he described as “an oddball who should have been born twenty years before his time.” I immediately remembered him because this guy used to work at the student union’s greasy spoon. I hadn’t heard this guy’s name in years, but I remember he used to request one song regularly on our now-defunct college radio station. The song is called “Come Go with Me” by a 1950s doo-wop group called The Del-Vikings.

I never thought of The Del-Vikings as doomsday music, but I mowed the grass last night before some torrential rain, straight line winds, and Law & Order reruns. Put those together and it churned out a doomsday dream. I can’t remember everything but somehow I think I was being chased by The Ducky Boys street gang on a college campus. My old college roommate was involved and campus security was trying to quell an angry mob of parents for some reason. I think things escalated and shots were being fired. Before the dream/nightmare concluded, Lt. Anita Van Buren and Detective Lenny Briscoe from Law & Order made appearances. (I’m pretty sure it was a sequel episode like the El Camino Breaking Bad thing. Oh, then the earth had to be flooded because things just weren’t working out.)

So what is the moral of the story? I think it’s that I should avoid drinking the tasty lemon-lime soda pop Starry before bed.

Till next time, keep your Mojo on the Horizon!

Would you like more Flon with that, Flin?

In my neck of the woods, it poured down rain last night including massively loud strikes of thunder. At some point, I woke up, turned on the Tubi network and found an interesting film title — “Flin Flon.” I can’t remember the description of it, but figured I’d give it a try.

It turns out Flin Flon is the name of a city located near the provincial border of Manitoba and Saskatchewan. It’s a pretty unique place. A mining company rep discovered there was copper and other minerals for the taking, so things started there. The name is actually based on a character from a sci-fi publication.

As the mining operation grew, so did the city. It’s no surprise that hockey also found a home in Flin Flon, which brings me to the fabulous focus of the Flin Flon film. That’s the Flin Flon Bombers junior ice hocky team. This team has been around since the 1920’s and appear to have a lot of civic support behind them.

I’d have to say the film is a feel-good documentary. That’s not my usual thing, but director Dustin Cohen captures what makes it an interesting place to live and that’s primarily hockey. There are interviews with players, coaches, the team’s bus driver, and plenty of townsfolk who either played for the Bombers in their youth or are currently serving as host families for current players. By the way, if you thought the Detroit Red Wings tradition of throwing an octopus carcass on the ice during the playoffs is weird, Bombers fans throw a moose leg onto the ice after every victory. I’m not kidding.

It wasn’t in the film, but I felt compelled to share the song “Roller” by Canadian rock band April Wine.

What else? Well, cartoonist Al Capp was commissioned to design the 24-foot statue of “Flinty”, who is that character in the previously mentioned publication “The Sunless City” by J.E. Preston Muddock. While he’s not the focus of the film, it’s worth mentioning that Philadelphia Flyers Legend Bobby Clarke was born in Flin Flon and played for the Bombers. I’d recommend viewing this film to see it all for yourself.

Here are my alternate blog entry titles:

How much Flon could a Flin Flon, if a Flin Flon could Flin Flon?
The Legacy of Josiah Flintabbatey Flonatin
Ruthless and Toothless in Manitoba
I’d like Canadian mining cities for $500 please, Alex!
Death Match: The Flin Flon Man vs. Mordecai Jones

Till next time, keep your Mojo on the Horizon!

Scootin’ Along

Motor scooters. What’s the first thing that pops into your mind when you hear that term? Is it a certain brand like Vespa, Honda, or Tao Tao? I’ve always thought they look like fun, but can’t say I’ve ever really tried one. I suppose it’s on my bucket list.

Recently, I was scrolling through the Tubi network and found an offbeat documentary about an event called the Scooter Cannonball. It’s a coast to coast adventure which covers about 3,000 miles. “The Big Scoot!” was just released in 2025 and was directed by Corrie Vaus. It wasn’t in the film, but the song “Bad Motor Scooter” by Montrose seems appropriate.

In case you don’t recognize the voice, that’s a young Sammy Hagar on lead vocals. (Hagar wrote the song. The band was named after guitarist Ronnie Montrose.)

Here’s a clip from the band performing it on TV.

Getting back to the movie, the competitors in the film are really what make it an interesting thing to watch. There are husband and wife teams, a guy whose friend willed him his motor scooter while in hospice, and more. The funniest part to me was hearing some of the competitors’ nicknames. And the best one by far is “QuasiMotard”. I actually found this guy online and he emailed me back right away. He’s not a hunchback, but he told me quasi means almost and motard is French slang for a biker so it means “almost a biker.”

There are actually injuries and plenty of riding the scooters with 10 to 12″ tires on some seriously treacherous dirt roads. I could say more, but I’d recommend checking it out for yourself.

Till next time, keep your Mojo on the Horizon!

Crypto Poster Child

What’s the first thing that pops to mind when you think about creatures like Bigfoot, The Loch Ness Monster, Yeti, or Chupacabra? Do you picture exotic expeditions to faraway lands, snipe hunts in the woods, or just some really fantastic stories? They all fall under the heading of cryptozoology which Wikipedia describes as a “pseudoscience” or a “subculture.”

One interesting creature, in my opinion, is the poster child for cryptozoology and its none of the ones previously listed here. I’m talking about the Coelacanth (SEE low CANTH). The story sounds like the plot of a sci-fi movie or episode of Jonny Quest which has been repeated numerous times: a creature thought to be extinct for years is discovered alive and well to everyone’s surprise. It happened off the coast of South Africa in 1938, Marjorie Courtenay-Latimer found one in the nets of a local fisherman…and we’ve been watching movies and TV shows like this ever since then.

The only appropriate band to address the topic seems like Fishbone to me…so “Let the Good Times Roll.”

By the way, I was never really into Fishbone, but this cover song apparently was in “The Mask” with Jim Carey. (Louis Jordan released the original version. Songwriting credits go to Fleecie Moore and Sam Theard.)

Then again John Waite’s lyric “I ain’t missing you at all” also applies to the coelacanth.

Getting back to the cryptozoology poster child, apparently Marjorie Courtenay-Latimer was a museum curator and not an ichthyologist, but she contacted one who identified her rare find. Another one wouldn’t be spotted until another dozen or so years later. What else can be said about the coelacanth? It has some really sharp teeth and the origin of its name means “hollow spine.”

So what’s the moral of the story? For me, the appeal of cryptozoology is about the POSSIBILITY of finding such a creature…discovering something unknown to us. The stories and the mysteries are what really keep me interested and entertained. Plus, you might even learn something along the way.

Till next time, keep your Mojo on the Horizon!

Shaken or Shakin’ ?

Christmas has come and gone and New Year’s Eve is fast approaching. Will you stay up past midnight to ring in 2026? If so, will you require any additional caffeine?

I ran out to the store recently and started thinking about how much soda pop used to be part of American culture. I still think it is, but there are a lot of other options for caffeine out there nowadays. (One time I had a former boss comment on all of the different soda pops I consume. He said, “It’s like you have some sort of weird bingo card.” I take that as a compliment.) Here are a couple of my thoughts and recommendations on some choices out there.

First of all, I went in search of my favorite sugar free energy drink which is the orange flavored Rip It Citrus X — it’s waayyy cheaper than Monster. I can only find these at a couple of retailers near me. One is Family Dollar, which really should be renamed Family Buck-and-a-Quarter. They carry an interesting mix of beverages there including familiar favorites and some lesser known brands. Case in point is Sprecher Charged Lemonade. The 140 milligrams of caffeine may leave you…“Shakin'” just like The Blasters’ song.

I was unfamiliar with the Sprecher brand, but they’re apparently a craft brewery in Glendale, Wisconsin. They carry over two dozen flavors of soda pop including root beer and some seasonal offerings like blueberry. Plus, they have a cool logo with a griffin on it. Also, they recently acquired the Green River soda pop brand. (It inspired the Creedence song.)

Another newer option for caffeine consumption is from Starbuck’s. I don’t really drink regular coffee, but I do enjoy some of the sweet cold coffee they offer. If you’re trying to cut back on calories, but still need caffeine, check out Starbucks Frappuccino Lite – Creamy Vanilla Gelato. The name may be “fru fru”, but the taste is wonderful.

Finally, there is an old standby with a new twist. I’m talking about 7UP, but the 7UP Cherry Zero Sugar option. No caffeine in this one, but it’s still mighty tasty. It also mixes well with vodka.

Till next time, keep your Mojo on the Horizon!

p.s. Here is a live version featuring what looks like the Jimmy Reed Thin Twin guitar.