The Fixx & Steven Tyler’s Mouth

It’s that time again…my 6-month checkup at the dentist. You know… that day when you slide into the dentist’s chair and they start putting different foreign objects into your mouth. And they’re not just any old foreign objects. A suction hose, a rinsing device, and the cleaning “tool” which resembles a Klingon weapon used by Worf on Start Trek: The Next Generation. Not to mention the rope…I mean floss. My mind wanders during the cleaning procedure so I can think about anything BUT what’s happening. In any event, I escaped with zero cavities!! That means my new dental visit theme song is “Saved by Zero” by The Fixx.

I remember this song and its accompanying video from the early days of MTV. It featured The Fixx’s lead singer walking around singing with his, you know, 80s Duran-Duran-ish hair. I vaguely remembered the chorus of the song, but had no idea what it was really about. According to Wikipedia, it was inspired by a Buddhist concept called Śūnyatā. I’m going to leave the research to someone else on that one.

I had another thought while a full-grown adult had her hand spelunking in my mouth. What’s the average size of a human mouth? A quick Google search revealed it’s around 2 inches or roughly 50 millimeters. Then, I had to think about the bite radius of Aerosmith’s Steven Tyler.

Steven Tyler seems like he’s a pretty good sport so I feel like I should share an Aerosmith song. “Kings and Queens” seems like one I haven’t heard in a while.

Did Henry VIII have a Royal Dentist? It seems like that would be a less than ideal career choice. In any event, please look for your Dental Spelunking Action Pack at retailers near you. It should include a life size replica of Steven Tyler’s mouth, a Buddha, a 45 RPM record of The Fixx, and Worf with not only his usual weapon, but some rope ( I mean floss), a hose, and a custom helmet for whatever is going on with the middle of his head.

Till next time, keep your Mojo on the Horizon!

Doomsday Dream & The Del-Vikings

Dreams are on my mind today. Why? Well I had a bizarre one last night. I think there were a couple of factors that went into its formulation. First, I went to a work event which was a couple of hours away. On the way back I got into a lengthy conversation with a new coworker. It turns out we have some mutual acquaintances from college, etc. One of them was a guy whom he described as “an oddball who should have been born twenty years before his time.” I immediately remembered him because this guy used to work at the student union’s greasy spoon. I hadn’t heard this guy’s name in years, but I remember he used to request one song regularly on our now-defunct college radio station. The song is called “Come Go with Me” by a 1950s doo-wop group called The Del-Vikings.

I never thought of The Del-Vikings as doomsday music, but I mowed the grass last night before some torrential rain, straight line winds, and Law & Order reruns. Put those together and it churned out a doomsday dream. I can’t remember everything but somehow I think I was being chased by The Ducky Boys street gang on a college campus. My old college roommate was involved and campus security was trying to quell an angry mob of parents for some reason. I think things escalated and shots were being fired. Before the dream/nightmare concluded, Lt. Anita Van Buren and Detective Lenny Briscoe from Law & Order made appearances. (I’m pretty sure it was a sequel episode like the El Camino Breaking Bad thing. Oh, then the earth had to be flooded because things just weren’t working out.)

So what is the moral of the story? I think it’s that I should avoid drinking the tasty lemon-lime soda pop Starry before bed.

Till next time, keep your Mojo on the Horizon!

Would you like more Flon with that, Flin?

In my neck of the woods, it poured down rain last night including massively loud strikes of thunder. At some point, I woke up, turned on the Tubi network and found an interesting film title — “Flin Flon.” I can’t remember the description of it, but figured I’d give it a try.

It turns out Flin Flon is the name of a city located near the provincial border of Manitoba and Saskatchewan. It’s a pretty unique place. A mining company rep discovered there was copper and other minerals for the taking, so things started there. The name is actually based on a character from a sci-fi publication.

As the mining operation grew, so did the city. It’s no surprise that hockey also found a home in Flin Flon, which brings me to the fabulous focus of the Flin Flon film. That’s the Flin Flon Bombers junior ice hocky team. This team has been around since the 1920’s and appear to have a lot of civic support behind them.

I’d have to say the film is a feel-good documentary. That’s not my usual thing, but director Dustin Cohen captures what makes it an interesting place to live and that’s primarily hockey. There are interviews with players, coaches, the team’s bus driver, and plenty of townsfolk who either played for the Bombers in their youth or are currently serving as host families for current players. By the way, if you thought the Detroit Red Wings tradition of throwing an octopus carcass on the ice during the playoffs is weird, Bombers fans throw a moose leg onto the ice after every victory. I’m not kidding.

It wasn’t in the film, but I felt compelled to share the song “Roller” by Canadian rock band April Wine.

What else? Well, cartoonist Al Capp was commissioned to design the 24-foot statue of “Flinty”, who is that character in the previously mentioned publication “The Sunless City” by J.E. Preston Muddock. While he’s not the focus of the film, it’s worth mentioning that Philadelphia Flyers Legend Bobby Clarke was born in Flin Flon and played for the Bombers. I’d recommend viewing this film to see it all for yourself.

Here are my alternate blog entry titles:

How much Flon could a Flin Flon, if a Flin Flon could Flin Flon?
The Legacy of Josiah Flintabbatey Flonatin
Ruthless and Toothless in Manitoba
I’d like Canadian mining cities for $500 please, Alex!
Death Match: The Flin Flon Man vs. Mordecai Jones

Till next time, keep your Mojo on the Horizon!

Scootin’ Along

Motor scooters. What’s the first thing that pops into your mind when you hear that term? Is it a certain brand like Vespa, Honda, or Tao Tao? I’ve always thought they look like fun, but can’t say I’ve ever really tried one. I suppose it’s on my bucket list.

Recently, I was scrolling through the Tubi network and found an offbeat documentary about an event called the Scooter Cannonball. It’s a coast to coast adventure which covers about 3,000 miles. “The Big Scoot!” was just released in 2025 and was directed by Corrie Vaus. It wasn’t in the film, but the song “Bad Motor Scooter” by Montrose seems appropriate.

In case you don’t recognize the voice, that’s a young Sammy Hagar on lead vocals. (Hagar wrote the song. The band was named after guitarist Ronnie Montrose.)

Here’s a clip from the band performing it on TV.

Getting back to the movie, the competitors in the film are really what make it an interesting thing to watch. There are husband and wife teams, a guy whose friend willed him his motor scooter while in hospice, and more. The funniest part to me was hearing some of the competitors’ nicknames. And the best one by far is “QuasiMotard”. I actually found this guy online and he emailed me back right away. He’s not a hunchback, but he told me quasi means almost and motard is French slang for a biker so it means “almost a biker.”

There are actually injuries and plenty of riding the scooters with 10 to 12″ tires on some seriously treacherous dirt roads. I could say more, but I’d recommend checking it out for yourself.

Till next time, keep your Mojo on the Horizon!

Crypto Poster Child

What’s the first thing that pops to mind when you think about creatures like Bigfoot, The Loch Ness Monster, Yeti, or Chupacabra? Do you picture exotic expeditions to faraway lands, snipe hunts in the woods, or just some really fantastic stories? They all fall under the heading of cryptozoology which Wikipedia describes as a “pseudoscience” or a “subculture.”

One interesting creature, in my opinion, is the poster child for cryptozoology and its none of the ones previously listed here. I’m talking about the Coelacanth (SEE low CANTH). The story sounds like the plot of a sci-fi movie or episode of Jonny Quest which has been repeated numerous times: a creature thought to be extinct for years is discovered alive and well to everyone’s surprise. It happened off the coast of South Africa in 1938, Marjorie Courtenay-Latimer found one in the nets of a local fisherman…and we’ve been watching movies and TV shows like this ever since then.

The only appropriate band to address the topic seems like Fishbone to me…so “Let the Good Times Roll.”

By the way, I was never really into Fishbone, but this cover song apparently was in “The Mask” with Jim Carey. (Louis Jordan released the original version. Songwriting credits go to Fleecie Moore and Sam Theard.)

Then again John Waite’s lyric “I ain’t missing you at all” also applies to the coelacanth.

Getting back to the cryptozoology poster child, apparently Marjorie Courtenay-Latimer was a museum curator and not an ichthyologist, but she contacted one who identified her rare find. Another one wouldn’t be spotted until another dozen or so years later. What else can be said about the coelacanth? It has some really sharp teeth and the origin of its name means “hollow spine.”

So what’s the moral of the story? For me, the appeal of cryptozoology is about the POSSIBILITY of finding such a creature…discovering something unknown to us. The stories and the mysteries are what really keep me interested and entertained. Plus, you might even learn something along the way.

Till next time, keep your Mojo on the Horizon!

Shaken or Shakin’ ?

Christmas has come and gone and New Year’s Eve is fast approaching. Will you stay up past midnight to ring in 2026? If so, will you require any additional caffeine?

I ran out to the store recently and started thinking about how much soda pop used to be part of American culture. I still think it is, but there are a lot of other options for caffeine out there nowadays. (One time I had a former boss comment on all of the different soda pops I consume. He said, “It’s like you have some sort of weird bingo card.” I take that as a compliment.) Here are a couple of my thoughts and recommendations on some choices out there.

First of all, I went in search of my favorite sugar free energy drink which is the orange flavored Rip It Citrus X — it’s waayyy cheaper than Monster. I can only find these at a couple of retailers near me. One is Family Dollar, which really should be renamed Family Buck-and-a-Quarter. They carry an interesting mix of beverages there including familiar favorites and some lesser known brands. Case in point is Sprecher Charged Lemonade. The 140 milligrams of caffeine may leave you…“Shakin'” just like The Blasters’ song.

I was unfamiliar with the Sprecher brand, but they’re apparently a craft brewery in Glendale, Wisconsin. They carry over two dozen flavors of soda pop including root beer and some seasonal offerings like blueberry. Plus, they have a cool logo with a griffin on it. Also, they recently acquired the Green River soda pop brand. (It inspired the Creedence song.)

Another newer option for caffeine consumption is from Starbuck’s. I don’t really drink regular coffee, but I do enjoy some of the sweet cold coffee they offer. If you’re trying to cut back on calories, but still need caffeine, check out Starbucks Frappuccino Lite – Creamy Vanilla Gelato. The name may be “fru fru”, but the taste is wonderful.

Finally, there is an old standby with a new twist. I’m talking about 7UP, but the 7UP Cherry Zero Sugar option. No caffeine in this one, but it’s still mighty tasty. It also mixes well with vodka.

Till next time, keep your Mojo on the Horizon!

p.s. Here is a live version featuring what looks like the Jimmy Reed Thin Twin guitar.

Rikki Tikki Rival?

I’m officially on holiday for a couple of weeks and I have to say it’s off to a fun, freaky start! I love great stories and definitely appreciate a good mystery involving one that’s off the beaten path. Take, for example, the story of…the talking mongoose??

Yes, that’s right….the talking mongoose. I turned on the Tubi streaming network and stumbled upon a show called Mystery Files https://www.imdb.com/title/tt28254897/ , which struck me funny. For some reason it was cued up to Season 3 so I just went with it. The first episode was about an alien encounter that I’d already heard, but the second one was about Gef The Talking Mongoose. I don’t really know how many other famous talking mongooses there are out there, but Gef lived on the Isle of Man. Gef apparently was the inspiration for song called “Eighth Wonder” by Lemon Demon.

So, what was the deal with Gef? During the 1930s he supposedly lived with the Irving family: mama, papa, and the daughter who just happened to be a bit of ventriloquist. Gef drew his share of attention from the media and paranormal investigators like Harry Price. Price visited the Irving household and noted the home’s paneling “[made] the whole house one great speaking-tube, with walls like sound boards. By speaking into one of the many apertures in the panels, it should be possible to convey the voice to various parts of the house.” Get the picture?

There’s much more to Gef’s exploits. If you REALLY want to know, you need to watch the 2023 film “Nandor Fodor and the Talking Mongoose.”

In conclusion, I think the Isle of Man should consider adding the letters “G-E-F” to its already freaky looking flag o’ three legs. Perhaps they could print a three-dollar bill in his likeness as well.

Till next time, keep your Mojo on the Horizon!

White Chocolate Christmas

I haven’t blogged about food in a while, but I feel compelled to share my favorite Christmastime snack. The beauty of it is, there’s no recipe involved. It’s “store bought.” (GASP!) This treat is for those of us whose taste buds favor both the creamy and the extremely sweet. The official name of the tasty treat is OREO White Fudge Covered Chocolate Sandwich Cookies. If you haven’t seen them in the grocery store, they are just what it sounds like. The beauty of these treats is they are thicker and sweeter than your regular Oreo cookies. Think of it as more sweet bang for your buck. I’m sharing this rocking version of “White Christmas” by Bad Religion in this treat’s honor.

I wonder what Irving Berlin would think. Here’s another take on “White Christmas” by The Drifters.

Anyway, I looked up a little information on white chocolate because I’m a big fan. According to Wikipedia, it’s one of the big three traditional types of chocolate. The other two are milk and dark. Fans of white chocolate enjoy its tangy and creamy taste. Haters think it’s bland. (Wikipedia also used the word “cloying” which means excessively sweet.)

As for the history of white chocolate, it was developed in Switzerland and has a history with the Swiss Army. (In terms of inventions, this trumps the Swiss Army Knife in my book.) Nestle makes a confection called Milkybar (or Galak in other parts of the world) which has been around since the 1930s.

What else can I say about OREO White Fudge Covered Chocolate Sandwich Cookies? Perhaps they are used as hockey pucks in an alternate universe. That’s based solely on the shape, not the sweet, creamy taste.

Till next time, keep your Mojo on the Horizon!

Blanksgiving

Thanksgiving. I’ve heard more than one person say it’s their least favorite holiday. One of my buddies has echoed that thought from the original Rocky movie “Yeah, to you it’s Thanksgiving; to me it’s Thursday.” Personally, I’ve been looking forward to it this year. Here are some options and observances:

Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade – it’s on NBC. We didn’t have Macy’s where I grew up, but the Stix Baer & Fuller Thanksgiving Day Parade doesn’t have the same ring to it, does it?
Christmas Music – I look forward to our local classic hits station going 24/7 with it on Thanksgiving. I’ve never actually determined exactly when it starts, but I’ve already heard two different versions of “Santa Baby” on the first day.
Blanksgiving – Per this blog entry title, you can create your own one syllable event of your own like “Friendsgiving”. I’ve also seen Drinksgiving more than once this year. I can’t until we officially have Spanxgiving.
NFL Football – The Detroit Lions and Dallas Cowboys always play on Thanksgiving. I’d love to say more, but it’s not my thang.
Protesting – I can’t say I’ve seen any protests of the holiday in person, but it seems like pilgrim popularity has been waning. I wonder when buckled shoes and hats will be all the rage again? Also, should the name Myles Standish be part of it?
New Traditions – I did a quick search for songs with “turkey” in the title and found this gem. It’s the Johnny Otis Orchestra with “Turkey Hop”.

I’d love to say more, but I should probably see which stores are open today. More specifically, where can I buy some antacid?

Till next time, keep your Mojo on the Horizon!

Geddy’s Baseball Adventure

I wasn’t too inspired to blog last week, but have an interesting story which I heard on a local Kansas City talk radio station (KMBZ-FM) and I think it bears repeating. Canadian band RUSH has been in the headlines recently because they announced they will tour again with a new drummer to fill the enormous shoes left by the death of Neil Peart. (Her name is Anika Nilles.)

That said, the story isn’t really about that at all. Instead, it’s something new I learned about RUSH bassist Geddy Lee. Apparently, he’s an avid baseball fan and collector. Recently, he donated a collection of 400 autographed baseballs to The Negro Leagues Baseball Museum, which is located in Kansas City, Missouri. https://www.nlbm.com/exhibit/the-geddy-lee-collection/ He wants to keep things “Closer to the Heart.”

I never knew Lee was into baseball or even collected for that matter, but that must be old news to fans of the Toronto Blue Jays. I saw at least one pic of him sitting behind home plate at a home game.

There is no shortage of division, differences, and animosity in the world today, but I think this story shows human beings CAN still find common ground regardless of race and nationality for starters.

Play Ball!

Till next time, keep your Mojo on the Horizon!