July 4th is coming up in a matter of days. Do you plan to risk your appendages by shooting off fireworks? I mean, it’s an American tradition, right? I have already purchased a few myself and have multiple retaliatory strike points mapped out to deal with my neighbors. (Not kidding.) This year I bought a few Roman candles — that’s a first for me. Otherwise, I have the usual lot of whistling chasers, bottle rockets, and firecrackers. I think some smoke bombs could also provide some strategic cover and flying saucers are always fun, too.
This year is America’s “Quarter Millennium”– basically 250 years since the Declaration of Independence was signed. There are a couple of fancier terms for it, but I’m gonna go ahead and leave them to tea time conversationalists who stick out their pinky fingers. As an American, I say, “Pass the burgers and the brews!” I’ve been thinking about a patriotic song to share and have decided on The Steve Miller Band’s “Living in the U.S.A.” from the band’s 1968 album “Sailor.” Hopefully this visually striking video won’t get blocked.
As far as holidays go, the 4th of July is my kind of party — explosives and alcohol. What could possibly go wrong? During America’s Bicentennial in 1976, I was in kindergarten and we had a parade scheduled towards the end of the school year. (I’m pretty sure the “parade” was a walk around the block in our colonial clothing to entertain our neighbors.) The kid who was supposed to “be” George Washington didn’t show on the day of the parade and I got to do lead the parade instead. I should have led a rebellion against something, but I didn’t. Thank you, David Bowie.
Another thing about the 4th of July…I’ll be the guy wearing the “Defiant Since 1776” t-shirt. I’m pretty sure I’ve seen one with Uncle Sam doing a slam dunk over a redcoat as well.
If I had to recommend a film for the occasion, “The Patriot” with Mel Gibson is a good one. However, if you watch the TV version, they’ll cut some scenes for commercials. What could possibly be more American than that?
Till next time, keep your Mojo on the Horizon!











