Category: Offbeat

Price Chick a Boom

I remembered some scenes in a really funny movie I saw and could picture the lead actress, but I couldn’t get the names right on either of them. Frustrating, but true. I kept landing on the name of actress Piper Perabo, but I was wrong. The hilarious actress is actually Parker Posey. You’ve probably seen Posey in other offbeat comedies like “Best in Show” and “Waiting for Guffman.” Posey plays an over-the-top new boss character in “Price Check” and turns the world of mild-mannered Pete Cozy (Eric Mabius) upside down and then some. The 2012 film was written and directed by Michael Walker and features the music of a band called Luna.

One thing the two seemingly opposite characters share is an affinity for Luna’s music. The backstory on the Pete character is he went to Dartmouth and used to work in the music business, but wound up in the mundane world of grocery store pricing. I think the contrast between a single guy working in the music business vs. his now married with a child existence is an interesting backdrop. It paints the work world as the ridiculous thing that it is — gossip, job security, inner office romances, etc. In one scene, a subordinate calls his boss (named Susan) “Suzy Q.” She responds by nicknaming him “Ass Face”.

You’ll see some other familiar faces like Amy Schumer, Edward Hermann, and Josh Pais. Pais plays a “numbers guy” who seems to track and analyze things most of don’t. I’m surprised this film’s 5.5 on a 10 scale isn’t higher because I loved it.

Till next time, keep your Mojo on the Horizon!

DST

It’s officially Daylight Savings Time…that whole “Spring forward, Fall back” thing. Since we’re springing forward I think of the first day as “Daylight Sucking Time.” I suppose if you live in a rural area it could be “Daylight Savins Time, Y’all.” For me, I woke up today at 7:09 am and had to hustle to get to church band practice at 8 o’clock. The whole thing is a fairly bizarre phenomenon that we just accept as is. It reminds me of “Alice in Wonderland.”

Here are a couple of other weird things. First, the battery on my living room clock ran out about a day or two ago — it’s almost like it KNEW it was coming. Another thing that jumps out at me is that not all states take part in DST. A close friend of mine moved to Indiana years ago and told me they don’t change the clocks there. Apparently they got with the program in 2006. However, Arizona and Hawaii still don’t participate in DST. It feels like a “Time Warp” situation.

I suppose time is all relative. It’s just bizarre to wake up at the same time you did yesterday, but it’s not the same time as yesterday. Oh well!

Till next time, keep your Mojo on the Horizon!

X-ray Eyes without a Sugar

I was scrolling through Netflix on a friend’s TV when I spotted an interesting find — it was a 39 minute film by Wes Anderson — the director with the unique vision has brought us films like “Moonrise Kingdom” and “Fantastic Mr. Fox”. I hadn’t heard of this one, but “The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar” is a pretty wild tale. The short film is based on a children’s book by Roald Dahl.

Basically, Ben Kingsley plays this Sugar dude who claims he can see without having to actually look at anything…he can tell you how many fingers you’re holding up while blindfolded, etc. What’s even more interesting is the story was inspired by a guy named Kuda Bux who could do the same thing. (I’d recommend watching the short film before reading this informative BBC article about him https://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-india-67166439). He also walked on hot coals in his spare time.

I had several magic and vision-related songs to share for this blog entry, but decided on Billy Idol’s “Eyes without a Face.”

I was never really big on the main part of the song, but the middle section around 2:10 totally rocks and more than makes up for the rest of it. Apparently the one line of the song is in French which explains why I could never understand it. Getting back to the film, it also stars Benjamin Cumberbun — I mean Cumberbatch as well. 

I think Mr. Sugar’s/Kuda Bux’s second sight must be linked to sneering like Billy Idol under his bandaged head.

Till next time, keep your Mojo on the Horizon!

p.s. How many batches could a cumber batch if a cumber could batch buns?

Boogie with Yipes

Sad news. In case you missed it, Fruit Stripe Gum is being discontinued after a 50 year run. I suppose the name tells it all…it was a super sweet, multi-colored feast for not only the taste buds, but the eyes, too. The packaging and look was kind of fun . Apparently, the zebra mascot’s official name was Yipes, which will be a great trivia question.

I’ve already used Little Richard’s “Tutti Frutti” in a previous blog so I’m including Led Zeppelin’s “Boogie with Stu” which features the lyric, “I don’t want no Tutti Frutti , no lollipop.” It seems appropriate.

The “Stu” is boogie woogie piano player Ian Stewart who is more closely associated with The Rolling Stones than Led Zep, but you get the idea. I believe Zeppelin used the Stones’ mobile recording studio and that’s when the jam and recording happened. The 4 LZ members shared writing credits with Stewart and Ritchie Valens. If this is making your head hurt, just listen to Valens’ “Ooh, My Head.”

It’s weird how the Valens’ tune morphed into a song on LZ’s “Physical Graffiti” album, but I guess this blog morphed from a zebra striped gum thing into this. Fruit Stripe Gum customers used to get a Yipes tattoo with the multi-colored, striped gum. I hope that didn’t drive them out of business.

Till next time, keep your Mojo on the Horizon!

31 Flavors…of Vanilla?

2024 is fast approaching and ice cream is on my mind. Sometime in my twenties I started having that whole lactose intolerance issue and I said goodbye to the creamy treat for many years. Now, we have a lot more lactose-free options than we did in the past. However, it can be slightly overwhelming. (More in a moment.)

Given the choice, I usually opt for vanilla over chocolate. I like the creamy taste and always put mine in the microwave for a few seconds to soften it and give it that melty sensation I love.  Just in case you’re wondering, the song “Ice Cream Man” made famous by Van Halen was originally written and recorded by a guy named John Brim.

During the past few years, Breyer’s Lactose-Free Vanilla has become my personal favorite; however, you have to be careful in the ice cream aisle and REALLY pay close attention. My pseudo-extensive research has revealed not quite one billion variations on Breyer’s Vanilla. Here are just a few of them:

  1. Breyer’s Extra Creamy Vanilla — Hmmm….sounds like my style, but it has lactose?
  2. Breyer’s Carb Smart Vanilla — Carb reduction is good. Okay, I get it.
  3. Breyer’s Homemade Vanilla — Ummm..does this mean the others are industrial made?
  4. Breyer’s Natural Vanilla – I’m not sure how this different from homemade. Is a churn used in one of these? If so, are we talking billions of individual churns or one the size of Shea Stadium? Maybe there’s a Greek myth about it. Didn’t someone have to churn something into something else for some reason or another?
  5. Breyer’s Non-Dairy Vanilla — Wait a damn minute….what’s the difference between non-dairy and lactose-free? Will eating this put me on a watch list?
  6. Breyer’s French Vanilla – Do I have to wear a beret when I eat it or do they only use French cows? Maybe when French cows are in short supply, they make American cows wear berets.
  7. Breyer’s Gluten Free Vanilla – What’s good for the gluten is good for the gander?

Whew….that’s exhausting. I’m pretty sure I saw “oat milk” mentioned on one of the numerous choices, but I have absolutely no idea what oat milk is. By the way, I checked out the company website. The dude’s name was Breyer, but I don’t see an apostrophe on the box. I hope this doesn’t ruin my B average for punctuation. Also, Baskin Robbins used to be known for 31 flavors, but now they have over one thousand. I wonder why I’d like to drop a few pounds.

Till next time, keep your Mojo on the Horizon!

Sea Serpents & River Jaws

Maybe I have an overactive imagination, but I love a good story about the unexplained including monster mythology and cryptozoology. If you look into some of these great stories, their origins might be a way to explain something in nature. What causes thunder? Oh yeah, it’s a Thunderbird — a gigantic bird flapping its wings. That’s a fairly reasonable explanation. It’s not like meteorology is an exact science anyway, is it?

Recently, I watched a couple of interesting documentaries. The first one is called “Giant Sea Serpent, Meet the Myth.” It was written and directed by Bertrand Loyer and focuses on The Giant Oarfish as one rational explanation for “sea serpents.”

This species has several cool nicknames like “King of the Herrings” and there’s a Japanese one as well. In Japanese mythology, the appearance is supposed to announce the coming of an earthquake. I have to say seeing one of those alive or dead would freak me out.

Speaking of getting freaked the Hell out, what would you do if you saw a fish pop out of the river and onto the shore….to EAT a bird? Yikes! Another program written and directed by Bertrand Loyer is called “River Jaws: Le silure, l’ogre de nos rivières” and addresses just this phenomenon. Apparently, the Wels Catfish is this real life “River Jaws.” Take it away, Jimi.

The voiceover on this second documentary is appropriately dramatic. It would probably go over well on Halloween.

Are these scary fish the reason why pirates and fishermen drink so much? Can’t blame ’em. Wels Catfish may be found in different sections of Europe including France’s Saint-Cassien Lake. Wikipedia mentioned they can also be found in Chernobyl. That’s a sci-fi movie waiting to happen! Maybe they could do an Alien vs. Predator thing like “Giant Oarfish vs. Radioactive River Jaws.”

Till next time, keep your Mojo on the Horizon!

Bizzaro in Buffalo

Vincent Gallo is a name you won’t forget if you ever get a chance to watch him in Buffalo ’66 — a film which he wrote, directed, and in which he also starred. The late 90s film is most definitely an offbeat one.

As the name implies, the film is set in Buffalo, New York. It opens with Billy Brown (Gallo) being released from prison, hopping the last bus into town, and then frantically searching for a bathroom when he arrives. Gallo then encounters a blonde tap dancer named Layla played by then 17-year-old Christina Ricci. At one point, Ricci does a scene with King Crimson’s “Moonchild” playing in the background.

The volatile Billy basically kidnaps Layla …so she can pose as his wife. Then the mind-bending drama unfolds as he unleashes his wrath on her and anyone else he encounters including his mother (played by Anjelica Huston).

The rest of the outstanding cast included Ben Gazzara, Kevin Corrigan, Mickey Rourke, and many more. If you can’t stand arguing, you won’t like this film because there is plenty of hostility in it. The Buffalo Bills are also a big part of the film’s look and color scheme. A few surreal scenes remind me of some of David Lynch’s films. It’s hard to categorize. You just have to experience it.

Till next time, keep your Mojo on the Horizon!

Billy, Rikki, and Weird Al

Don’t ask me why, but a Phil Collins song from the 1980s popped into my head this morning. The song I mentioned was released as “Don’t Lose My Number” most places, but as “(Billy) Don’t Lose My Number” in Australia.

Give the Aussies credit for getting the accurate song title. I wonder who was responsible for that? I watched part of the official video and it’s parody-centric. From what I read, Collins said he just improvised the lyrics so there may not be an actual Billy. When I was typing this blog entry, I accidentally typed “Lumber” instead of “Number”, which could make for a great Weird Al song.

Mr. Yankovic aside, this song made me think of “Rikki Don’t Lose that Number” by Steely Dan. I was never a big fan of theirs, but definitely heard them on classic rock radio.

From the little research I did, there might have been a real Rikki. Naturally, that’s debatable. I have a better appreciation for Steely Dan than I used to — I think that stems from their jazz influences. I think they were too mellow for me as a teenager. The catchy bass part was apparently from “Song for my Father” by Horace Silver.

Maybe my musical taste has changed a bit over the years or I’ve gotten a little more patient. I like the Horace song.

For the heck of it, I searched for “lose my number songs” and found another one. It’s called “Baby Don’t You Lose My Number” by Darren Jay and the Delta Souls.

This song has some Jerry Lee Lewis style piano and great guitar tone in it. Apparently, Darren Jay is based in Chicago.

Because of texting technology, I don’t know that losing someone’s number is much of an issue these days but losing your cell phone is cause for a complete meltdown.

Till next time, keep your Mojo on the Horizon!

Keep on Chuckin’

Once upon a time in the mid to late 80s, I got my driver’s license. During one weekend outing with my buddies, we had enough dudes for two different cars. One friend was driving his 1967 Candy Apple Red Mustang while I drove my parents’ light blue import. The plan was simple enough. Our second stop would be at Chuck-A-Burger Drive In Restaurant, but the first stop would be a separate event at the home of Bigfoot (the monster truck).

If you missed out on this era of entertainment, you might need to find a VCR to play 1985’s “Battle of the Monster Trucks.”

I told my buddy with the Mustang that I had to follow him to Chuck-A-Burger because I didn’t know the way there. Naturally, he made a last minute hairpin turn and I lost him. One of my other friends knew the way so we chugged a long separately. We actually made it there and I turned into the only entrance into the burger joint’s parking lot…only to find myself driving the 80s model Mazda in the middle of a classic car cruise. Call it, “Right Place Wrong Time.”

As I cursed my heavy footed friend in the Mustang, people at the cruise started booing. I remedied the situation by honking the horn in protest back at them. (My friend in the back seat suggested it.) Fortunately, that was the end of that chapter.

Things have changed over the years. Bigfoot has migrated from suburban Hazelwood, Missouri to the country comforts of Pacific, MO. Chuck-A-Burger is still open at the same location. Perhaps I should petition them for a plaque?

Till next time, keep your Mojo on the Horizon!

Trash Bags – The Tribute

Yes, it’s true…trash bags are on my mind. My recent store-bought purchase has got me thinking about them.

First of all, does anyone really enjoy grocery shopping? I mean, you go to the store and they’re out of this and that. Then what do you do?? During my last outing, the cashier and the person behind me were both wearing surgical masks. Since it’s football season, you might say they were in a “COVID-prevent” defense. I was at one of the dollar-ish stores. Don’t ask which one because they seem to be dollar and a quarter-ish anyway. I was out of trash bags so I grabbed a box of them. Then I grabbed two more, which brings me to The Coasters.

When I got home, I realized my less than detailed purchase left me with 3 boxes of extremely thin, white plastic bags which seemed to be un-openable. I had to text a friend of mine and she had the wherewithal to tell me to moisten my fingers to open them. Success!

This got me thinking about all of the different styles and options….drawstring bags, scented bags, flexible bags, 13 gallon bags, white bags, some dark colored bags which are most likely green or black…it’s a bit overwhelming. It also reminded me of an episode of “The A-Team.” I was probably in 7th or 8th grade when this episode aired. One of my classmates asked me what I did the previous night. When I told him that I watched that show, he started imitating Howling Mad Murdock from the same program. Spoilers ahead.

This episode might seem a bit out of context, but it was hilarious. Just when I thought Trash Bags – The Tribute was over, I found a song inspired by the same episode:

https://murdockstrashbag.bandcamp.com/track/trash-bags

Naturally, you can also buy a Howling Mad Murdock action figure as well — something I completely support.

Parting thoughts:

  1. Shouldn’t there be a White Trash brand of bags?
  2. Should I have included the song “Trashy Women” by Confederate Railroad?
  3. Why wasn’t Tom Bosley involved?

So what’s the moral of the story? Some people use trash bags to escape from prison, the rest of us are just schlubs in grocery stores.

Till next time, keep your Mojo on the Horizon!