I Dreamed I Saw St. Sasquatch

In an effort to ward off “corona-tation” (the condition of vegetating in front of the TV while trying to avoid coronavirus), a friend of mine and I went for a stroll in the park Sunday afternoon. The weather was relatively mild with little wind. I would guess we walked maybe two miles on the county park trail when, all of a sudden, a moment of intense panic came over me. I had my wallet and keys in my pockets, but NO CELL PHONE!! I knew I brought it with me because I had just taken a pic of an unusual-looking-yet-artistic frog tree. My friend took my keys to the car to try calling from her phone while I trekked back in what can only be described as an angry Sherlock Holmes mode. I checked all along the trail, but it was nowhere to be found. The trail basically came to a dead end at a parks maintenance hub with dump trucks and junk like that. I thought that it HAD to be where it fell out of my pocket, but I had no such luck.

Next, I stopped along the trail where my friend showed me what “polk salad” looks like. (We had just watched “Ford vs. Ferrari” the previous night and they played parts of the song “Polk Salad Annie” throughout the film.) I’m sure I still couldn’t identify “polk salad” if it was right in front of me. Nevertheless, I was trying to “Keep Calm and Carry On” when I remembered a spot where I veered off the beaten path to skip a stone in the nearby lake. And there it was. My less than a month old cell phone in the blue protective case was lying face down in the grass with the little light glowing. It still had a charge and it still worked!! As I picked it up, I saw my friend dutifully tried to call me 26 times. Then I thought I saw something move in the distance.

I heard a faint noise and then saw something I couldn’t believe — It was a real, live Bigfoot or Sasquatch. I couldn’t believe my eyes! My jaw was probably on the ground. It was tall and hairy, but the hair on top of its head was pulled into a sort of top knot thing like Gene Simmons from KISS. What was even MORE shocking was it spoke to me.

Sasquatch: Look, I shouldn’t be talking to you, but I heard you make a remark about lake monsters so you seemed pretty cool to me. Don’t even think about asking me for a selfie either.

Author: (Gulp.) Ummm, no problem. I just wanted to find my phone. I didn’t know you guys could talk.

Sasquatch: Humans and their phones! Yeah, there’s plenty of things we can do. We’re not like those barking Wookies in the Star Wars movies. We just like to keep to ourselves.

Author: Yeah, I can relate. You’ve seen Star Wars?

Sasquatch: The first three. My “kind” think Lucas is pretty typical of humans. Innovative, but greedy. I mean how many “pre-quels” do we need anyway? Don’t get me started on the merchandising.

Author: Yeah, I hear you. Sorry, I’m a little freaked out….

Sasquatch: It’s cool. Who’s been trying to call you anyway? Let me guess…CVS Pharmacy?

Author: (Nervously laughing). Well they do call a lot, but my friend was helping me look for the phone. You guys are into movies?

Sasquatch: Yeah, it’s an interesting glimpse into your culture. Some are better than others.

Author: How do you stay so hidden? I mean, I can’t believe this is happening, but it’s daylight and you’re just out in the open…

Sasquatch: Have you seen “Predator”?

Author: Yes.

Sasquatch: Another good example…The first one was good. The spider-faced dude was creative, and Arnold was, too… but HOW MANY stinking sequels do you really need? Anyway, most of the time we have that sort of super camouflage force-field thing. You know what I mean?

Author: Yeah, that makes sense. Great blue herons have some serious camouflage, too. They’re large birds, but they just blend right into the background. I guess it’s like that.

Sasquatch: Yeah, herons are cool.

Author: So.. what’s your favorite movie?

Sasquatch: The Big Lebowski.

Author: Really? I love that movie.

Sasquatch: Somebody just left a bootleg VHS copy of it out by cousin’s place. I also found Bob Dylan’s “John Wesley Harding” on cassette out there. My cousin is one of those publicity hounds. You know that whole MoMo the Monster thing?

Author: Yeah, I remember that. I was just a kid then.

Sasquatch: Your media people are about as bad as ours. What kind of a name is MoMo? Pretty stupid. Anyway, I gotta get going, but I’m glad you found your phone. You’re lucky to have a friend who will call 26 times to help you and harass everyone walking down the path about your cell phone.

Author: Yeah, you’re right. Man, I can’t believe this is happening! You have media outlets?

Sasquatch: We do. They leave a lot to be desired. You know you’re also lucky you didn’t leave that empty energy drink can out here either. Looks like you were thinking about it.

Author: You saw that? Yeah, I was pissed at myself for losing the phone.

Sasquatch: Dude, it’s only a phone. I gotta jet.

Author: You’re right. Hey, are you guys affected by the virus?

Sasquatch: Not like you guys are, but you’re gonna be fine.

Author: Yeah?

Sasquatch: Yeah. Just tell them Sasquatch told you so. I’m sure that will go over. Peace!

…and just like that he vanished back into the woods, and I guess his camouflage force field. I still had so many questions… Why the Gene Simmons styled top knot? I mean, is he a KISS fan, too? What does he think about their merchandising? They have their own Sasquatch Media Network? Do they have digital? I mean he kept talking about cassettes and VHS tapes. I gotta say he wasn’t what I expected, but it was definitely cool. I wonder if I ‘ll see him again…St. Sasquatch, The Patron Saint of Cell Phones Lost in the Woods.

Till next time, keep your Mojo on the Horizon!

The Colorful and The Freaky

I don’t know what it is about certain lights and colors (or the combination of them), but I just like them. I never really buy or display Christmas lights, for example, but I enjoy looking at them. Once in awhile I’ll see something that catches my eye and think, “This is how the world should look ALL OF THE TIME.” Sound crazy? I don’t know if I explain it, but I’ll try.

For example, my friend was riding shotgun while I was driving down the street. It was nighttime so it was dark outside. As I drove down this particular street (which I’ve done numerous times), I noticed some sort of flashing lights (LEDs?) illuminating a car wash. I just said, “Man that’s awesome!” Maybe it’s the stark contrast of the bright lights and the darkness or the vivid colors themselves. I don’t know. I’ve always enjoyed a lot of the psychedelic art to come out of the Sixties, but am far from a hippie or a “doper” to use my cop friends’ terminology. The pop art of Roy Lichtenstein is up my alley. I had a pop art phone app on my old iPhone and enjoyed trying different color schemes with random pictures.

Just to clarify, I like looking at and experiencing color. I don’t dress like a middle-aged, male version of “Rainbow Brite.” I recently saw a segment with Conan O’Brien in Japan and his visit took him into a very colorful section of Tokyo.

The description of this video is a “kawaii makeover in Harajuku.” Not really my thing. Maybe I’ll just do this. I’m going to list some examples of things I like. Please feel free to weigh in on whether they’re psychedelic, colorific, freaky, or just plain weird. Maybe I’ll start a roadside attraction with all of them:

Lava lamps: They’re colorful and freaky. Good combo of both.
Ocean in a bottle: This is sort of like a DIY lava lamp. I made one in about 8th grade. The downside is they’re highly flammable.
Blacklights: I’ve never owned one, but this a good example of the colorful and the freaky as well. My cousins had one when I was kid. I can’t remember which posters they had.
Fish aquariums: OK, they don’t always explode with color, but some do. I’m also fascinated by GloFish. I’m sure PETA disapproves. Are they genetically altered to glow in the dark? Betta fish are pretty colorful, too.
Assorted children’s toys: Spirograph is definitely psychedelic. Lite Brite is pretty wicked, too. Is there a way to combine the two? Hmm.
Ferrofluid: Most of the time, this stuff is black and it’s kept inside a glass case. You move it around with a high powered magnet. I think you can find different colors, but you may have to look pretty hard. It’s on my bucket list.
Animation: Bugs Bunny isn’t too freaky, but Yellow Submarine is a pretty good example of explosive, vivid color. They might be edged out by the “hookah smoking caterpillar” of Alice in Wonderland/White Rabbit fame.

8. Claymation: I don’t think I’ve really seen a psychedelic instance of this, but it is colorful. The Peter Gabriel video for “Sledgehammer” is a good example of its potential.

9. Tibetan Sand Mandalas: Definitely have vivid colors, but a little less wind-and-sneeze-proof for my liking.

10. Thermochromic stuff: Sounds fancy, huh? This is like mood rings or coffee mugs that change color due to heat. Very freaky.

There are plenty of other examples/choices…a favorite album cover (Sgt. Pepper is pretty good), sugar skulls (definitely freaky and definitely colorful). I remember a scene in the comedy called “Best in Show” where this couple worships color. I haven’t gone that far. The world isn’t always colorful, but I enjoy it when it is.

Till next time, keep your Mojo on the Horizon!

How much sweat could Jim Thorpe wick, if Jim Thorpe could wick sweat?

This blog entry is not about my usual passion for hidden gems in music in movies. Rather, it’s a few observations and opinions on clothing trends. I used to buy a lot more name brand clothing when I was teenager, but I don’t quite as much these days. (I’d rather spend my money on music, movies, and/or junk food.) I remember seeing a TV special on rock n roll music — it might have been the anniversary of Rolling Stone Magazine or something like that. They were talking about fashion in rock n roll. After a lengthy segment on how important a band’s look can be, they cut to Jerry Garcia wearing a plain black t-shirt. He said something like, “My fashion statement is right here.” Nevertheless, two particular mainstream non-musician clothing trends need to be discussed.

The first one is camouflage. It seems to me it was first associated with the military — you know, snipers hiding out to kill you with a single shot and things like that. Nowadays, isn’t it more of a fashion statement? Walk into a large outdoor store like Bass Pro, Cabela’s, or whatever else is out there and there will be rows and rows of this stuff. You’ll see hats, shirts, and pants in camo. I’ve got nothing against it really, but I heard something on talk radio that made me think about in a different way. Someone pointed out people hunted for years and years without it. Hmm. If I visualize the “founding fathers” and pilgrims, they’re usually rocking basic black or military blue. I mean you had your Daniel Boone/Davy Crockett look, but I always thought of the coonskin cap as more of a trophy than camouflage. I don’t hunt and I don’t fish. Maybe that’s why I don’t wear it.

The second fashion statement is the trend of clothes which supposedly “wick away” sweat and moisture. OK, I have a few shirts like this, but this fashion trend/statement is completely out of control. On the one hand, competitive athletes are always looking for an edge. On the other hand, how many of the best athletes in their particular fields had this technology? Wayne Gretzky? Pele’? Larry Bird? Somehow they all managed to be superstar athletes WITHOUT ANY WICKING CLOTHES whatsoever. I put it to a friend of mine like this. “In the 80s, you could go bowling with your friends in your regular casual/street clothes. Nobody worried about any wicking anything at all. Somebody has got to take a stance on all of this over-wicking.”

Recently, I’ve seen some social media posts about phenomenal athlete Jim Thorpe. (He’s probably best known for playing professional football and winning gold medals in both the pentathlon and decathlon.) The post tells a story about someone stealing his shoes during the Olympics and Thorpe just using a mismatched pair from a trash can. It’s a story I’ve read more than once. My gut tells me there was no wicking and no camouflage involved. Just think what he could have achieved if he’d had both!! This leads me to my latest fashion idea. I’m going to start selling mismatched athletic shoes and call them “Thorpedoes.” I’m not sure if the first batch of them should be camouflage, moisture wicking, or both.

Till next time, Keep your Mojo on the Horizon!

Blue Ruin

This is a film worth seeing. Fair warning — there are some graphically violent scenes, but the film itself is really more drama than anything. Blue Ruin is the story of a shaggy-looking dude named Dwight Evans (marvelously played by Macon Blair) — I think he could be in the same police lineup with the lead singer from The Spin Doctors. He lives in his car, collects recycling for money, and rummages through the garbage for food. However, don’t let his big eyes, mousy vibe, and lack of a “real” job fool you. He’s got skills, street smarts, and toughness you might not expect.

As the story unfolds, viewers learn someone close to Dwight has been killed in a double murder. To make things worse, the killer is set to be paroled. Dwight takes things into his own hands and that’s where he falls down a Hatfield & McCoy-type of rabbit hole. He reconnects with his sister (played by Eve Plumb) along the way, but it’s not all love and roses. Devin Ratray shines in a supporting role as Dwight’s likable, long-lost friend from high school.

I decided not to include the trailer for this Jeremy Saulnier-directed film because I knew nothing about it going into it, and I loved it. Blue Ruin isn’t a film for everyone. The dialogue is sparse in parts, but the film is never boring. Dwight Evans is very much an introverted anti-hero, which makes his brushes with life & death that much more interesting. On the one hand, he’s a guy who blends into the background. On the other hand, he’s Hellbent on seeing justice served and surviving whatever fallout comes along with it. Macon Blair’s facial expressions are a big part of this film and he delivers.

Blue Ruin is a fascinating film, and a fascinating escape from reality. It makes you wonder what you would do in the same situation.

Till next time, keep your Mojo on the Horizon!

Monsters! Mysteries or Myths?

Before you roll your eyes, I’m going to tell you this made-for-TV film is a high quality one. Believe it or not, The Smithsonian Institution was involved in its production. (OK, I did find it on The Paranoia Channel, but that’s beside the point.) None other than Rod Serling did the voice over on this film which investigated The Big Three of Cryptozoology: Bigfoot, Yeti, and Loch Ness Monster.

It’s amazing how a few eerie musical notes, combined with Serling’s narration, and some mysterious images can make the hair on the back of your neck stand up. Now THAT’S good television! I remember seeing this when I was very young, and it’s always stuck with me.

“Monsters! Mysteries or Myths?” takes the viewer on a journey around the globe to exotic places like Scotland, the Himalayas, and even The Pacific Northwest. In my humble opinion, this is the key to all great art — it TAKES you someplace. You hear the Scottish accents, you see the freaky looking Yeti costumes worn by residents of the Himalayas, and so much more. It takes you to the nether regions of your mind. To me, it doesn’t really matter whether any of these “monsters” exist — it’s the remote possibility that they COULD. As the narrator, Serling asks questions and speculates on the possibilities.

One scene I distinctly remember watching as a kid. There was a guy (John Cobb) who was trying to break the world speed record in a “jet boat.” He had the pedal to the metal while cruising on Loch Ness, then all of a sudden….BAM!!! His boat just exploded.

Was it a hump on the back of “Nessie”? That’s what I always inferred from the film, but I digress.

There are interviews with eyewitnesses, scientists, hoaxers, and even a psychologist. I think this film stands up pretty well over time. Some men’s hairstyles are a little shaggier than you might see today. (There’s even a scene with a gal who looks like the Swiss Miss Cocoa mascot.)

Whether you’re a believer or not, it’s hard to top these stories. Planet Earth is a freaky place, you might as well embrace it.

Till next time, keep your Mojo on the Horizon!

Alien Soda Pop

Aliens…what can you say about them? There are definitely some things which can’t be logically explained in this world.

My question is this…If a little green (or gray) dude (or chick) beams down from outer space in a saucer or what have you, what do you offer them to drink? It’s a ridiculous question, but it’s an interesting one. When I used to work out regularly, I kept Gatorade on hand — but not the traditional lemon-lime flavor — I preferred one of the blue colored flavors. I think light blue Glacier Freeze was the one for me. One of my friends trash- talked me for having basically nothing in the fridge, but my retort was, “Well when the aliens land, I’m gonna offer them some of these and I’ll be sitting pretty.”

I mean if it really DID happen, you’d obviously want to be as hospitable as possible. Wouldn’t you? (Sub question: Do you definitely put it in a glass? Sub-sub question: With ice or room temperature? The ice cube is a nice way to discuss solid, liquid, and gas matter in case they slept through third grade science) .

This question of what you offer an alien to drink re-entered my mind when I was in a Kansas City area supermarket. I still think Glacier Freeze Gatorade has that futuristic vibe to it, but I came across a beverage which may be even better: Atomic Fizz. Is the name too obvious for space alien consumption? I’ll say this. Not only is it tasty, but it has a unique flavor. http://atomicfizz.com/flavor/. I mean you could try to go “all-American” and offer a burger, fries, and some kind of cola. Cub Koda from the rock band Brownsville Station would likely approve.

There are other options. You’ve got your traditional dark colas and your white sodas. Think of a color and there’s some type of soda pop associated with it. In my humble opinion, Big Red is a pretty fantastic cream soda which is colored red. There’s also Sunkist Orange. Welch’s Grape soda is my go to beverage when it’s hot and humid. If you want another musical tie-in, CCR’s “Green River” was inspired by a soft drink of the same name. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Green_River_(soft_drink) .

Of course you could always try to impress an alien with the Diet Coke and Mentos trick. (I’ve always thought about putting together a show for the 4th of July with red, white, and blue food coloring. I think it’s marketable.)

Here’s another way of looking at it. Soda pop is basically the devil’s brew nowadays. We want to tax it, ban it, keep it away from the kids, etc. It’s probably a good litmus test for an alien. If you don’t have the stomach for it, you probably won’t survive in the good ole U-S-of-A.

Say it loud, “I drink soda pop and I’m proud!”

Till next time, keep your Mojo on the Horizon!

Dirty Toes ‘n Nova Scotia

It was the early 1990s in Lawrence, KS. My uncle told me about a band called “Uncle Dirty Toes”, but what’s in a name? Before I went to hear them and see them perform, my uncle told me they did a rendition of “White Rabbit” by Jefferson Airplane. My ears definitely perked up when they caught wind of that. Al Gore had yet to invent the internet (sorry I couldn’t resist) so I found out via the local music newspaper about their next show.

At the time, there was a well-known sub shop called Yellow Sub near the University of Kansas campus. It was on the ground floor with a bar called The Crossing upstairs. That’s where the band “Uncle Dirty Toes” blew me away. I guess you could call them “folk rock” if you had to categorize them. They covered some amazing sixties rock songs, but they used to open their set with a traditional tune called “Farewell to Nova Scotia”. h

https://youtu.be/sPq2M9zOrm8?t=345

The song has been recorded a lot over the years by the likes of The Irish Rovers, Gordon Lightfoot, and many more, but the Uncle Dirty Toes version has always been my favorite. (One time on St. Patrick’s Day, I requested this song and the acoustic player knew it!) Throughout the UDT show, I remember their lead singer saying something like “This is another Richard Thompson song” a few times. I’d never heard of him then, but came to find out he’s quite a songwriter and played in folk-rock mega band Fairport Convention. “Meet on the Ledge” is one of my faves.

I purchased the Uncle Dirty Toes album “Foot to the Path” and highly recommend it. I’ve never met any of the band members or anything like that, but I just think their music is fantastic. My favorite original UDT tunes include” Mother England”, “Make Them Come Alive”, and “Boys of Bedlam” (I believe “dirty toes” is a line from this particular song.) If you have any appreciation for traditional folk, folk-rock, or just good music in general, I urge you to check them out. www.uncledirtytoes.com/

I haven’t seen Uncle Dirty Toes play live in many years, but just to put an exclamation point on them, they even performed a cut from The Beatles’ Revolver album: “Tomorrow Never Knows”” — I’ve never heard anyone else attempt this song live — not even The Beatles themselves. In conclusion, I’m thankful to my uncle and Uncle Dirty Toes for turning me on to some great music.

Till next time keep your Mojo on the Horizon!

The Good, The Bad, & The Dystopian

Before I talk about the 2016 film “The Bad Batch”, I have to first give credit to the film “Mad Max”. It’s probably the film which made me familiar with the term “dystopian” (the opposite of Utopian). Wikipedia defines a dystopia as “a society which is undesirable or frightening”. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dystopia . Dystopian films aren’t a new thing. They come and go with different generations — The Mad Max franchise is a good example of that. Having said that, that’s where the similarities of these films end.

Most people might describe “The Bad Batch” (directed by Ana Lily Amirpour) as “weird” — but, in my humble opinion, it’s a “good weird.” Suki Waterhouse stars as protagonist Arlen – a young woman who’s sentenced to a life of survival of the fittest in a desert prison fraught with not only wind, sand, and weather, but cannibals as well. I don’t think viewers ever really find out what offense has led her to this fate, but she’s stuck there all the same. Waterhouse, a pretty young blonde, brings LOTS of attitude and grit to the character she plays. Along the way she encounters the mysterious mountain of muscles known as “Miami Man” (played by Jason Momoa) and rock star/cult leader “The Dream” (played by Keanu Reeves). Like a lot of movie trailers, the ones I saw for this film didn’t do much for me so I’m including Federale’s “All the Colours of the Dark” from the soundtrack.

“The Bad Batch” is not a film for the mainstream. It’s pace is slow and the dialogue is sparse. With that said, I absolutely loved this film. To me, it just sucked me in and took me into a world I’d never seen. There is a bit of violence, “gore”, and drug use, but I don’t think it’s too over the top.
In its defense, how pleasant is a dystopia supposed to be? In my mind the main themes explored in the film are justice, being an outcast, and just plain survival. While the stars (actors) in this film shine, it’s real beauty is its uniqueness. There’s a strong chance you’ve never seen any film like this one.

Till next time, keep your Mojo on the Horizon!

Dead Men Tell No Jarmusch Tales

It’s quite possible you’ve never seen ANYTHING like the 1995 Jim Jarmusch film “Dead Man”, starring Johnny Depp. While the film’s director Jim Jarmusch is known for his weird black and white films, to me, this one is different because I actually enjoyed it.

The story follows main character William Blake (played by Depp) who involuntarily travels to the Wild West from Cleveland. Once he gets there, the bookish-looking Blake goes down a rabbit hole of experiences: humiliation from his potential boss and co-workers, a brief love affair, gunshots, injury and escape — and that’s only the first few minutes of it. Before too long he encounters a Native American/Indian named Nobody (brilliantly played by Gary Farmer) and the two set off for even more adventures.

I’ve read several reviews and interpretations of “Dead Man”. One called it an “Acid Western”. That’s not far from the truth, but there are a few other important considerations that pop to my mind if you’re going to watch it. First and foremost, it is a strange experience. Second, it’s a slow paced film – not necessarily a bad thing, but good to know. Third, Neil Young contributed the primarily electric guitar score to the film. (I’m a fan of Neil’s, but not everybody will dig this soundtrack and not everybody will dig the film itself. )

The other cast members of “Dead Man” are a pretty wild assortment of actors like Billy Bob Thornton, Iggy Pop, and too many more to name them all. For my money, Michael Wincott steals the show as a motor mouthed gun for hire. Sound interesting? It’s hard to encapsulate what “Dead Man” really is. I purposefully didn’t re-read any of the reviews/interpretations of it, prior to writing my take on it. I don’t think “Dead Man” is a “shock value” sort of film where that’s it’s sole purpose, but there is a bit of violence, cannibalism, and a transvestite cowboy. On the flip side, there is also an amazing re-creation of a Makah village, which has some really amazing artwork (http://makah.com/makah-tribal-info/).

In conclusion, you could describe “Dead Man” like throwing your favorite western into a blender with “Alice in Wonderland” and it coming out black and white.

Till next time, keep your black and white Mojo on the Horizon.

Chasing the Sun

I can remember exactly where I was when I stumbled across the 1996 film called The Sunchaser . (I was working as the overnight guy in radio at the time and found it channel surfing late one night while staying at a relative’s house.) It had an impact on me. “Offbeat” is the first word that pops to mind when trying to describe this unique film. It was directed by Michael Cimino, perhaps best known as the writer/director of The Deer Hunter, and stars Woody Harrelson as mega-yuppie physician Dr. Michael Reynolds along with Jon Seda as teenage inmate/patient Brandon “Blue” Monroe.

If I had to pick one central theme to The Sunchaser, it’s healing. While the two main characters are very different, they both are in need of it. Dr. Reynolds leads an extremely materialistic/country club type of lifestyle while “Blue” is a desperately sick teen from the wrong side of the tracks. Seda is very believable as a streetwise, angry young man who’s determined to live despite any number of cards being stacked against him. The two characters wind up on a purpose-driven road trip through the Southwest. The film also explores Native American and New Age spirituality as part of the overall “vibe” of healing.

This film never was going to be a blockbuster and it won’t be everyone’s cup of tea. It’s definitely offbeat, and might be described as disjointed in parts. Some will even say it’s predictable. However, the beauty of The Sunchaser may be its ability to show the common ground between the two main characters. They’re both flawed, but still have their likable qualities.

Who’s the bigger weirdo… The guy who believes in magic mountains or the guy who doesn’t? This affirmation is my favorite quote from The Sunchaser:

May beauty be before me.

May beauty be behind me.

May beauty be above me.

May beauty be below me.

May beauty be all around me.

Till next time, keep your Mojo on the Horizon.