Category: Offbeat

J.D. Who? — Word Search Included

I watched a film about J.D. Salinger…the author of “The Catcher in the Rye” today and it got me thinking about famous people who go by the moniker of “J.D.” In Salinger’s case, the letters actually stand for Jerome David, which is an interesting bit of trivia I most likely won’t remember. Friends of his in the film refer to him as “Jerry.” I thought about doing a series on him, but I don’t know that it will happen. Some considered him to be reclusive after the success of his aforementioned book. Apparently, people kept tracking him down and treating him like their own personal 8-ball fortune teller. “The Seeker” by The Who seems appropriate here.

Next on the list is J.D. Souther (pronounced SOUTH err). To me, he’s best known as a songwriter and an associate of The Eagles and penned “How Long”, which they recorded. The song was originally released on his album “John David Souther.”

Souther also co-wrote a number of other Eagles hits and worked with Linda Ronstadt. Apparently he did some acting a long the way and also grew up in Amarillo, TX.

Perhaps the best known “J.D.” of all time would be Jack Daniel, the Tennessee distiller whose name appears on the black and white label which bears his name. I don’t know if he people ever called him “J.D.”, but it would have been shorter than his actual name of Jasper Newton “Jack” Daniel.

As a Mother’s Day bonus, I have included a word search which includes the last names of the three famous dudes named “J.D.” My mom likes word puzzles.

Till next time, keep your Mojo on the Horizon!

Rabid Anti-Dentite, Part One?

It’s pop quiz time!

Going to the dentist:

A. Is necessary for overall health and wellness.

B. Is a necessary evil.

C. Was mistakenly left out of the Geneva Convention.

Hmmm… ? Yes, I made it into the dentist’s office for my 6 month checkup this morning and got out with ZERO cavities! I credit my brushing discipline to my preference for keeping foreign objects, power tools, and adult human hands out of my mouth as much as possible. My biggest issue with the whole visit is the SOUND of getting the plaque scraped off my teeth. There’s some device called “Cavitron” which uses water and high frequency to minimize my suffering on this front. That said, there are still other discomforts to endure. For example, the hygienist was still completing Phase One cleaning when she leveraged the device so hard against my back teeth I thought she was going to pole vault over my head. It reminds of the AC/DC song “Kicked in the Teeth”. (Sometimes you lose, sometimes you win.)

Getting back to my latest chapter in “Surviving Dental Adventures”, the hygienist eventually completed Phase One cleaning. I got the refreshing, minty rinse and was starting to relax ever so slightly…then came the flossing. I’m sorry, but ramming a piece of string in between every single one of your teeth hasn’t really advanced so much, has it? For better or worse, I was born with a physically small mouth so it doesn’t naturally lend itself to being a tug of war field. I rebelled (refused) to get braces as a teen and I have to say I don’t see as many teens wearing braces these days.

Part Two may be coming, but there’s a Mountain Dew calling my name.

Till next time, keep your Mojo on the Horizon!

‘Murican Monsters

“How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.” Naturally, I’m talking about monsters. Call them an appeal to my imagination or an escape from everyday life, but they are powerful. I’m a sucker for shows about Sasquatch, lake monsters, or any other random creature you’d rather not encounter in everyday life. One hour long documentary I really enjoyed watching is called “American Monsters: Werewolves, Wildmen and Sea Creatures”.

J. Michael Long directed this 2015 effort. I really enjoyed the cool graphics, minimalist descriptions, and spooky voice over. It’s sort of like a cross between the original “In Search Of” program and a guide to birdwatching. I think “I Was a Teenage Werewolf” by The Cramps is the most appropriate music for this one.

I couldn’t remember the name of this film so when I found it again on the Tubi network, I immediately had to blog about it. It’s my kind of party.

Till next time, keep your Mojo on the Horizon!

‘Tis Tart Season?

Halloween has come and gone and our clocks have “fallen back.” Thanksgiving is fast approaching and big box retailers are assaulting our senses with pre-Black Friday deals. That can only mean one thing… it’s Pop Tart season.

Perhaps it’s seasonal instinct or a general disdain for food preparation, but I always find myself craving the tasty, convenient breakfast treats during this time of year. Like most things in America, consumers now have an OVERWHELMING number of flavor choices. More in a moment. I couldn’t have told you who sang “Yummy Yummy Yummy” for a lifetime’s supply of Pop Tarts, but it was Ohio Express.

Before I share my favorite flavor(s), I think a quick review of the choices is warranted. Apparently, there were four original flavors, but now there are at least two dozen. I would consider the “frosted” Pop Tarts the traditional ones, but that’s me. You also have “unfrosted” ones as well. I suppose unfrosted is sort of like diet soda pop or low tar cigarettes. You know you’re being unhealthy, but now you feel better about it.

You have some flavors you might expect like Frosted: Cherry, Raspberry, and Blueberry. None of these do much for me. Frosted Strawberry is probably my second favorite overall flavor to date. In the chocolate category, there are multiple choices. Frosted Chocolate Fudge is very rich, but tasty. Then you have things like Frosted Hot Fudge Sundae and Frosted S’Mores. (I think the latter one is for when you go deer hunting.) There’s even a “Gone Nutty” Peanut Butter option which I would also describe as rich, but tasty. Here’s one to consider for food prep slackers like me: Frosted Pumpkin Pie. I haven’t tried it, but it sure seems quicker than spending your Thanksgiving holiday actually baking a real pie.

The most important recommendation I can make is this one: Brown Sugar Cinnamon. Apparently, it was one of the 4 original flavors. I also recommend a microwave setting of 33 seconds on power level “8”. Here’s a sorta-kinda related 80’s TV commercial for rock station KSHE 95 in St. Louis.

Till next time, keep your Mojo on the Horizon!

Red, White, & Blue-Neck

It’s officially America’s Independence Day. BOO-YAH!! In your face, rest of the known world! We’re red, white, and blue and we kick ass. That’s just a little bit of the whole American attitude, right?

What does the 4th of July mean to me? One random memory I have from growing up American during the 1970s is not only the Bicentennial, but Red, White, & Blue brand beer. Apparently, the style of can was the original pop top with removable razor sharp tab. I wonder if we could bring those back.

For better or for worse 2024 is an election year. Ironically, I saw a political ad while previewing Ace Frehley’s Hendrix-ish take on “The Star Spangled Banner.”

I’m already tired of all of the political commercials, the disagreements of view points, but that’s part of life in the “U-S-A, U-S-A, U-S-A.” Perhaps our elected officials could take a lesson from David Spade (aka Joe Dirt). They just need to crack open some Red, White, and Blue beer…then try to agree which fireworks are the most ‘Murican.

Good times. One thing I noticed this year is the overwhelming number of fireworks stands where I live. I’m not complaining, but I just don’t remember seeing the NUMBER of them in years past. Perhaps my memory has sustained damage from the combo of drinking beer while shooting off fireworks and listening to rock n’ roll — perhaps America’s greatest invention.

Till next time, keep your Mojo on the Horizon!

Price Chick a Boom

I remembered some scenes in a really funny movie I saw and could picture the lead actress, but I couldn’t get the names right on either of them. Frustrating, but true. I kept landing on the name of actress Piper Perabo, but I was wrong. The hilarious actress is actually Parker Posey. You’ve probably seen Posey in other offbeat comedies like “Best in Show” and “Waiting for Guffman.” Posey plays an over-the-top new boss character in “Price Check” and turns the world of mild-mannered Pete Cozy (Eric Mabius) upside down and then some. The 2012 film was written and directed by Michael Walker and features the music of a band called Luna.

One thing the two seemingly opposite characters share is an affinity for Luna’s music. The backstory on the Pete character is he went to Dartmouth and used to work in the music business, but wound up in the mundane world of grocery store pricing. I think the contrast between a single guy working in the music business vs. his now married with a child existence is an interesting backdrop. It paints the work world as the ridiculous thing that it is — gossip, job security, inner office romances, etc. In one scene, a subordinate calls his boss (named Susan) “Suzy Q.” She responds by nicknaming him “Ass Face”.

You’ll see some other familiar faces like Amy Schumer, Edward Hermann, and Josh Pais. Pais plays a “numbers guy” who seems to track and analyze things most of don’t. I’m surprised this film’s 5.5 on a 10 scale isn’t higher because I loved it.

Till next time, keep your Mojo on the Horizon!

DST

It’s officially Daylight Savings Time…that whole “Spring forward, Fall back” thing. Since we’re springing forward I think of the first day as “Daylight Sucking Time.” I suppose if you live in a rural area it could be “Daylight Savins Time, Y’all.” For me, I woke up today at 7:09 am and had to hustle to get to church band practice at 8 o’clock. The whole thing is a fairly bizarre phenomenon that we just accept as is. It reminds me of “Alice in Wonderland.”

Here are a couple of other weird things. First, the battery on my living room clock ran out about a day or two ago — it’s almost like it KNEW it was coming. Another thing that jumps out at me is that not all states take part in DST. A close friend of mine moved to Indiana years ago and told me they don’t change the clocks there. Apparently they got with the program in 2006. However, Arizona and Hawaii still don’t participate in DST. It feels like a “Time Warp” situation.

I suppose time is all relative. It’s just bizarre to wake up at the same time you did yesterday, but it’s not the same time as yesterday. Oh well!

Till next time, keep your Mojo on the Horizon!

X-ray Eyes without a Sugar

I was scrolling through Netflix on a friend’s TV when I spotted an interesting find — it was a 39 minute film by Wes Anderson — the director with the unique vision has brought us films like “Moonrise Kingdom” and “Fantastic Mr. Fox”. I hadn’t heard of this one, but “The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar” is a pretty wild tale. The short film is based on a children’s book by Roald Dahl.

Basically, Ben Kingsley plays this Sugar dude who claims he can see without having to actually look at anything…he can tell you how many fingers you’re holding up while blindfolded, etc. What’s even more interesting is the story was inspired by a guy named Kuda Bux who could do the same thing. (I’d recommend watching the short film before reading this informative BBC article about him https://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-india-67166439). He also walked on hot coals in his spare time.

I had several magic and vision-related songs to share for this blog entry, but decided on Billy Idol’s “Eyes without a Face.”

I was never really big on the main part of the song, but the middle section around 2:10 totally rocks and more than makes up for the rest of it. Apparently the one line of the song is in French which explains why I could never understand it. Getting back to the film, it also stars Benjamin Cumberbun — I mean Cumberbatch as well. 

I think Mr. Sugar’s/Kuda Bux’s second sight must be linked to sneering like Billy Idol under his bandaged head.

Till next time, keep your Mojo on the Horizon!

p.s. How many batches could a cumber batch if a cumber could batch buns?

Boogie with Yipes

Sad news. In case you missed it, Fruit Stripe Gum is being discontinued after a 50 year run. I suppose the name tells it all…it was a super sweet, multi-colored feast for not only the taste buds, but the eyes, too. The packaging and look was kind of fun . Apparently, the zebra mascot’s official name was Yipes, which will be a great trivia question.

I’ve already used Little Richard’s “Tutti Frutti” in a previous blog so I’m including Led Zeppelin’s “Boogie with Stu” which features the lyric, “I don’t want no Tutti Frutti , no lollipop.” It seems appropriate.

The “Stu” is boogie woogie piano player Ian Stewart who is more closely associated with The Rolling Stones than Led Zep, but you get the idea. I believe Zeppelin used the Stones’ mobile recording studio and that’s when the jam and recording happened. The 4 LZ members shared writing credits with Stewart and Ritchie Valens. If this is making your head hurt, just listen to Valens’ “Ooh, My Head.”

It’s weird how the Valens’ tune morphed into a song on LZ’s “Physical Graffiti” album, but I guess this blog morphed from a zebra striped gum thing into this. Fruit Stripe Gum customers used to get a Yipes tattoo with the multi-colored, striped gum. I hope that didn’t drive them out of business.

Till next time, keep your Mojo on the Horizon!

31 Flavors…of Vanilla?

2024 is fast approaching and ice cream is on my mind. Sometime in my twenties I started having that whole lactose intolerance issue and I said goodbye to the creamy treat for many years. Now, we have a lot more lactose-free options than we did in the past. However, it can be slightly overwhelming. (More in a moment.)

Given the choice, I usually opt for vanilla over chocolate. I like the creamy taste and always put mine in the microwave for a few seconds to soften it and give it that melty sensation I love.  Just in case you’re wondering, the song “Ice Cream Man” made famous by Van Halen was originally written and recorded by a guy named John Brim.

During the past few years, Breyer’s Lactose-Free Vanilla has become my personal favorite; however, you have to be careful in the ice cream aisle and REALLY pay close attention. My pseudo-extensive research has revealed not quite one billion variations on Breyer’s Vanilla. Here are just a few of them:

  1. Breyer’s Extra Creamy Vanilla — Hmmm….sounds like my style, but it has lactose?
  2. Breyer’s Carb Smart Vanilla — Carb reduction is good. Okay, I get it.
  3. Breyer’s Homemade Vanilla — Ummm..does this mean the others are industrial made?
  4. Breyer’s Natural Vanilla – I’m not sure how this different from homemade. Is a churn used in one of these? If so, are we talking billions of individual churns or one the size of Shea Stadium? Maybe there’s a Greek myth about it. Didn’t someone have to churn something into something else for some reason or another?
  5. Breyer’s Non-Dairy Vanilla — Wait a damn minute….what’s the difference between non-dairy and lactose-free? Will eating this put me on a watch list?
  6. Breyer’s French Vanilla – Do I have to wear a beret when I eat it or do they only use French cows? Maybe when French cows are in short supply, they make American cows wear berets.
  7. Breyer’s Gluten Free Vanilla – What’s good for the gluten is good for the gander?

Whew….that’s exhausting. I’m pretty sure I saw “oat milk” mentioned on one of the numerous choices, but I have absolutely no idea what oat milk is. By the way, I checked out the company website. The dude’s name was Breyer, but I don’t see an apostrophe on the box. I hope this doesn’t ruin my B average for punctuation. Also, Baskin Robbins used to be known for 31 flavors, but now they have over one thousand. I wonder why I’d like to drop a few pounds.

Till next time, keep your Mojo on the Horizon!